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This post reflects aspects of long-term marriage, neurodivergence, PTSD, caregiving ,trauma, faith and recovery after infidelity. Find a gentle guide on engaging with this type of post in greater detail in my content notice.
Please engage gently — for yourself and others.
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Permission Is Not Giving Up
February carries things we don’t talk about out loud.
It holds anniversaries the body remembers even when the calendar doesn’t.
It holds grief that never got a ceremony.
It holds restraint, recovery, and complicated love.
And culturally, February comes with pressure:
🌕Pressure to connect
🌕Pressure to desire
🌕Pressure to prove intimacy
🌕Pressure to “be better by now”
For many people, especially those living in recovery, caregiving, trauma awareness, or marriage repair, February is NOT romantic.
It is loaded.
The Snow Moon (sometimes called the Hunger Moon) rises in a season when resources are thin and restraint is necessary. In nature, this is NOT the time for excess. It’s the time for honesty about need.
February asks a quieter, braver question than January:
“What am I allowed to stop forcing?”
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What February Is Actually About
February is often framed as:
🌕Connection
🌕Romance
🌕Renewal of intimacy
🌕Spiritual devotion
But for many bodies, February is a boundary month.
It’s when:
🌕Trauma anniversaries resurface
🌕Expectations around sex and emotional availability spike
🌕Recovery requires vigilance, not vulnerability
🌕Saying “yes” feels costly or unsafe
🌕Restraint is confused with rejection
If February feels tense, flat, or complicated, that does NOT mean something is wrong with you—or your relationship.
It means your system remembers.
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The Snow / Hunger Moon Truth
Need Is Not a Failure of Faith or Love
In deep winter, hunger is NOT shameful.
It is information.
This moon does NOT ask you to desire more.
It asks you to name what is required to remain safe and whole.
That may include:
🌕Less intimacy, NOT more
🌕Less conversation, NOT deeper processing
🌕Less emotional availability
🌕Less explanation
February is NOT asking you to perform closeness.
It is asking you to honor consent—internally and relationally.
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Released Belief (Set This Down)
“If I don’t want what I’m supposed to want, something is wrong with me.”
Desire is NOT a moral obligation.
Availability is NOT proof of love.
Restraint is NOT rejection.
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Restored Truth (Carry This Instead)
PERMISSION IS PROTECTIVE
In recovery, caregiving, trauma healing, and neurodivergent households, saying NO is often how trust is rebuilt—with yourself and with others.
February honors:
🌕Choice
🌕Pacing
🌕Boundaries without justification
🌕Honesty without disclosure
You are allowed to opt out without explaining why.
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What Permission Looks Like in Real Life
Permission may mean:
🌕Opting out of Valentine’s expectations
🌕Redefining what connection looks like this month
🌕Choosing safety over sentiment
🌕Letting a birthday or holiday be simple
🌕Declining conversations you don’t have capacity for
🌕Separating intimacy from obligation
If February feels quieter or emptier than culture promises, you are NOT missing something.
You are protecting something.
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When Guilt Shows Up This Month
February often brings guilt around:
🌕Intimacy
🌕Desire
🌕Faithfulness
🌕Emotional presence
Here’s the reframe:
BOUNDARIES ARE NOT EVIDENCE OF DISTANCE. THEY ARE EVIDENCE OF CARE.
If guilt is loud, check for:
🌕Pressure to perform connection
🌕Fear of disappointing someone
🌕Old narratives about duty or submission
🌕Confusion between love and access
Guilt does NOT get the final word this month.
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A Gentle February Practice (Optional)
This is a low-demand month.
If you choose to engage at all, let it be this small:
🌕Place a hand somewhere grounding (chest, thigh, belly).
🌕Take one slow breath.
Say quietly:
I AM ALLOWED TO CHOOSE WHAT KEEPS ME SAFE
NO journaling.
NO reflection required.
NO follow-up action needed.
Permission given once counts.
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If Reflection Feels Unsafe Right Now
You are NOT required to look inward this month.
You already know your story.
You already feel the edges.
February does NOT ask you to examine yourself.
It asks you to rest inside your boundaries.
Skipping this post entirely is an acceptable response.
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Partner & Family Translation (Share If Helpful)
“February is a permission month for me.
I’m not withdrawing—I’m choosing what keeps me safe.
What helps most is patience and not assuming this is about you.”
NO debate required.
NO defense necessary.
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Faith-Forward Reframe (If That’s Your Language)
Faith is NOT proven by access.
Love is NOT proven by availability.
God is NOT offended by restraint.
Jesus withdrew.
He set limits.
He did NOT meet every demand placed on Him.
Permission is NOT a lack of trust.
It is wisdom.
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Closing Thought
The Snow Moon does NOT ask you to open wider.
It asks you to stay intact.
If February feels like a month of restraint, distance, or quiet honesty, that does NOT mean something is broken.
It means you are choosing safety over performance—and that is a form of love.
Come back when you want to.
Or don’t.
This month, permission is enough.
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WELLNESS THAT WITHSTANDS
Rooted. Resilient. Restored.
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Nicole Burch is a CertifiedTrim Healthy Lifestyle Coach, author, and holistic family life mentor who helps women and families rebuild from the inside out. Through her work, she guides others toward resilience, restoration, and peace—teaching that true healing begins at home. As the owner of Life in the Treehouse, Nicole helps women and families overcome burnout, find food freedom, and create sustainable wellness that lasts. Her work weaves together the practical and the profound—showing that peace is possible even in the busiest, most complicated seasons of life.
Whether she’s helping clients balance blood sugar, restore energy, or reconnect with joy, Nicole’s mission remains the same:
to help women and families live Rooted in Rhythm—anchored in peace, balanced in body, and guided by grace.
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If you’re seeking nourishment for body and soul—gluten-free living, Trim Healthy knowledge and support, or peace amid the chaos—welcome home.
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I am celebrating five years of being a Certified Trim Healthy Lifestyle Coach. I have lived an abundance of seasons within just these five years. I was a nursing mom, pregnant multiple times, survived a traumatic pregnancy loss in 2022, lived in survival mode from 2022-2025 while being an ambassador for survivors of sexual assault and facilitating the legal aspects of a criminal trail against the perpetrator for those assaults, almost died due to pulmonary embolism after my eighth child was born in 2023, and somewhere in there lost and gained 80 pounds after identifying binge-eating disorder as a new challenge. I KNOW too well that life slows down for nobody and no situation, and every meal is a new opportunity to be a begin-againer!
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Nicole Burch is a Certified Trim Healthy Mama Lifestyle Coach, independently offering services based on the THM plan. This coach is not an employee or agent of Trim Healthy Mama, LLC. Coaching services are independently managed, and THM is not responsible for results, business practices, or claims made by this coach.
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